Cherries on top

Different people know us in different ways. Like me, many say that I’m “what you see is what you get” person whilst some says, “I’m more than what meets the eye”. But whichever camp you are in, many have just actually scratched the surface.

People usually notice my smiley face and distinctive laugh. They also say that I’m sporty, a statistician/analyst, a loyal friend, generous giver and some also admire my unwavering faith, passion, determination, driven-for-excellence attitude... and the list goes on… But this list? These are just the cherries on top.

I, myself, am still in the pursuit of knowing the deepest core that God has designed for me. He is not done with me yet. Each day is indeed a new day with God filling my vessel with new things and I would never dare to put a halt on my growth. He fills my cup with joy incessantly and I’m loving it.

No matter how much we try to sketch the whole picture of our image, there's always a need to redraw it. Time and time again, new things will just fall on our lap. You will sometimes just find yourself in awe how God perfectly designed His masterpiece. Each fibre, each moment and every little thing, they make the whole of you. And this where vagueness comes in. There is a mystery on each one of us and we can only unravel it when we SOLELY seek OUR CREATOR.

The way you see yourself even adding up the way others see you still doesn’t speak the totality of you. These are just your cherries on top and God holds the main flavours. And remembering what God said after He created Adam, “it is so good”, is a good start in finding the mysteries imprinted within us. Yes, Adam was good and so are we.

The day He created us is already a mystery. Our journey is even more. We are thrown with many unanswerable questions and sometimes when we don’t find a satisfying answer, we tend to settle with our own assumptions, thus, failing to seek the truth. Like the famous quote say, many are just breathing but not really living. Yes, life is indeed a mystery.

With so much that we can see and feel, don’t just scratch the surface. Dig the treasures. Solve the puzzle. Unravel the mystery. And there is only one starting point - seek your CREATOR.

The Price and the Prize of a Disciple

This exhortation is one of the basic things of Christian life - one of the things that we should have already known... But, while I was preparing last night (or morning I should say) for our cell meeting, I was prompted to share with you my notes and I think it's good to start by quoting John Bevere, "Many preachers/believers focused so much on sharing the promises of 'resurrection' but sometimes forgetting to stress the message of the 'cross'. WHY? Because many are afraid to lose their people… If we will only preach like Jesus did, many will walk out..." Remember the rich young man who walked out sorrowful after Jesus told him to sell his possessions and follow HIM (Matthew 19:16-26)?

While I was reading Matthew 10:38 “And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after Me, is not worthy of Me”, 2 questions came to my mind.

First, why "cross"? Why take up the "cross"? The first thing that always come to my mind when we talk about the cross is "Jesus dying on the cross for us" but when Jesus said those words, He has not gone through the "crucifixion” yet so He must not be talking about His death. To put things at the right perspective, it’s always good to check the history. Taking from Wikipedia, the cross “depicts a purposely painful and gruesome method of public execution.” To put it in simpler words, CROSS means DEATH. So when Jesus said take up the cross, He meant death, but not His but ours – DEATH TO SELF. He meant denying ourselves (Matthew 16:24).

Second, why did Jesus had to say “take up the CROSS”? Why did He not just say “follow Me”? Jesus just drew the line! “Taking up the cross” will separate the “true followers” from the “self-proclaimed followers”. Many think and confess that they are CHRISTians and yet still living and loving their old selves.

To set the record straight, let’s take Jesus as our model. Let’s now talk about HIM carrying His cross. When Jesus “literally” took up the cross (note of the word “literal”, that must be a classic example huh!), He bleed and experienced death… and when we take up our cross, we will bleed, surely we will... We will have questions like, “Father, why have You forsaken me?” but like what John Bevere said, that only after dying we will experience resurrection…

So you think following HIM means losing your life? Nah, on the contrary, it’s actually a choice given to us for us to enjoy life to the full (John 10:10). The promises of GOD to us are countless and they are more than the riches of this world… You give HIM your life and HE will surely outgive that. Many get scare of the “price” but the “prize” is actually priceless!

Right Choice 2

I have written about this last time, that it's all about making the right choices... From the time you open your eyes in the morning, there are already many choices given to you. The choice if you still want to stay longer in bed and adjust your alarm clock or not. Or, if you still opt to spend few minutes in stillness and solitude with God despite the thought that the clock is ticking and you're late for work or a meeting.

Eating in a restaurant is an example. You are given a menu what food you are going to take so if you end up not satisfied with what has been served to you; it's not the restaurant's fault but that was the choice you made. Granted, you may not know the taste of the food by just looking at the list of options but still we can’t take off the fact that it was you who picked your meal.

I know a lot of people blaming "life" or "fate" to what they are in right now. For many times I've heard the word, "kapalaran" and they start blaming the events in their life; I myself is not excuse with this deception; I've been there so I know. What many can’t understand, or maybe just ignoring the fact, is that life is full of choices and every choice we make has a corresponding consequence. Let me echo these familiar quotations, "we are a product of our yesterday's choices" and "what we do today is what we become tomorrow". There are times that we think we are left with no other alternative but the truth is, even to the last resort, we still have that choice if we will say yes or no.

When I was in college, I was asked by a friend. We were having a breakfast then and I was winning her for God. She posted me this question, “God is all-knowing, right? He knows who will end up in hell or not? So, if He knew that I was going to hell, why did He still create me?" I didn’t know how to answer her then and for many years that question taunted me.

Many around us, even us believers, sometimes blame "fate" to what we are becoming. We sometimes use "fate" as an excuse to make the wrong choices. And, admittedly, the "victim feeling" is sometimes teasing us, but what would be our response is always our choice. So, yes, God knew us even we are still being formed in our mother's womb and His plan for everyone is something greater and bigger. God did not plan for us to end up in prison of pain with the consequences we made. If we can only envisage His plan that awaits us, “wow!” I said, “WOW!” We will be awed, it's something unfathomable. Jesus did not die on the cross for us to settle for anything less. BUT we have to understand that we will only get to that right destination if we will make the right journey. If you know that your destination is Baguio, what ticket will you buy? With all the ticket booths lined up, will you queue at the right line? If you know that there's a great reward awaiting for you in Singapore, will you book for a flight going to China? Again, it's all about choosing the right choices.

Everyday we have choices, in fact, we will not run-out of choices, and the choice to get back on the right track is always and will always be there. Looking back at the conversation with my friend then, it was only now that I've come to realize that it was actually one of God's ways for her to drive back in to the right road. That’s how free will operates and that’s how good GOD is.

Going slow to go fast

“If you want to go fast, go slow”, Gil Grissom said to Sarah when Sarah can barely wait to solve the crime... (That's from CSI Las Vegas) Ironic, huh? Well, life is I guess full of that.

Imagine a high school student working on his project. Wanting to have more time playing, he finished and submitted his work so fast without giving a second thought. But, to his surprise and dismay, after a day he submitted his work, the teacher returned his project because he missed some important little things... And all he could say would be, "Ooops, I didn’t notice that..."

There are times that we just want things to roll faster... Maybe because we feel like the agony of waiting is killing us. Or maybe, we just can’t bear to stay much longer to our situation or could also be that we’re too excited to hop-on to the next level… Here's a big BUT for that: BUT there are some precious gems in small packages that only those who will look intensely will be able to pick them up- some little things that may seem unnoticeable. The sad thing is, they are too little to identify but too significant to miss out. Altough admittedly, there are also times that they are placed in a way that can be seen palpably but we just intentionally ignore them to skip the painful process.

But guess what? Unless we make our “projects” right, we have to do it over… and over… and over again... And when you are caught at that same situation, these familiar and most of the times annoying questions will play again, "Why do I need to be here again? Have I not learned my lessons yet?" Because of our “desire” to shorten the painful process, we end up to a more painful and longer process. Want to mitigate all these unnecessary pains?

Go slow.

Go slow if you want to go fast... Pausing once in awhile is never a bad habit. Take time to think… Evaluate… and never forget to get HIS approval first before making your initial step.

“Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:14

Quoting John Bevere, “A good tree naturally bears fruits. You don’t force them to bear fruits…” But why there are still many “strong” believers who don’t understand why their journey is going in a circle when in fact, the “very nature” of the “good tree” is in them? They know that they are called for something greater and deserve something better but they just can’t see what’s missing… Again, go slow and take time to see your face in a mirror. Maybe that “good” tree is placed in a pot- in his little world of comfort zone? Or maybe, that “good tree” should be planted somewhere around the “north” but now waving his leaves on the south?

Sometimes, we just find ourselves wishing things to be just plain and simple but well, it’s not. So I guess all we can do is savour on the food that GOD has placed on our plates… Go slow.

Communicated knowledge vs Revelation knowledge

(Excerpt from Driven by Eternity (John Bevere))

Many believers are too comfortable just listening to preachings/teachings (the “communicated knowledge”) instead of getting things directly from GOD (the “revelation knowledge”). What they (we) are missing is that believers with just “communicated knowledge” on hand are easier to be deceived than those who have “revelation knowledge”…

Going back to the story of Adam and Eve: Adam received the “revelation knowledge” not to eat the tree of the knowledge of good and evil whilst Eve received the “communicated knowledge” from Adam. Adam committed the sin of “disobedience” or “rebellion” since He disobeyed GOD and had chosen the luring of Eve than GOD. Eve, on the other hand, was easily swayed or deceived by the enemy holding just the “communicated knowledge”. Remember the lethal question of the serpent to Eve, “Did GOD really say…?” Here’s the “what if” question then, what if Eve received the first-hand message? Well, we can’t draw a line what would have happened but the clasp of the message to Eve’s heart would have been “stronger”.

That’s how vital communicating to GOD directly and not to be satisfied with the passed-on-message. Of course, we take delight on the food that our spiritual parents serve but being fed by our FATHER Himself is a completely different story… and this is also the reason why it is very essential for us to lead our “spiritual daughters/sons” to our FATHER and not to ourselves…

But taking the “revelation knowledge” would not exclude me from deception; in fact, this gives me a “greater-weight- challenge” that links to my obedience… and gives me a “heavier accountability” in passing on the message vigilantly…

Kwentong Bakasyon

Grabe, sobra kaming excited nila Ate Rose kaya naman, 2 months before pa, we have already booked for our vacation (of course din, may promotion kasi dati ang Cebu Pacific, hehe). Malayo pa lang, nagiimagine na ako ng kung anu-anong kakainin ko, haha! Sobra na akong natakam sa mga Ilocano foods! I want all types of “diningding” na may sahog na pritong isda – bunga ng malunggay, pallang, saluyot etc. Gusto ko din ng pritong galunggong, pinakbet na lutong ilokano (di po yun ginigisa). Na-miss ko din ang “papus siomai”!

So ayun, dumating din ang December 06. We arrived at the Clark airport at around 5:30 am at diretso na kami (with Best and Ate Visiel) to Manila for the Fire and Glory Conference. Medyo groggy dahil di kami nakatulog sa plane. Sabi nga, if ma-slain man kami, diretso tulog na, haha! Bago kami tumuloy sa conference, syempre naman, kumain muna kami. Kasama namin yung Kuya ni Ate Visiel at hipag nya (sila kasi sumundo). Grabe, it was a small talk pero I also enjoyed the time just chatting and hearing some stories sa family ni Ate Visiel (and some “shocking revelation” kay Ate Visiel, haha. Joke. But that information is safe with us Ate Visiel, haha!).

Anyways, with all our luggage we proceeded to the Fire and Glory Conference. Everyone welcomed us with a big smile on their face (para bang nakita nila si Marian Rivera in person, ehem! Haha!). Kidding aside, when I entered the room, I felt the presence of GOD. The worship was so awesome. Daddy Leif shared about “chair number 1” – just staying in HIS Presence. Not about performing or achieving but about resting and receiving. “When I am in rest; HE will do the rest”, these are the words of Daddy Leif that hit me. He also added that, “We have been asking GOD to bless what we have been doing instead of doing what GOD has been blessing…” Kuya Paul continued the session in the afternoon with “impartation”. His testimony spoke a lot. Then, impartation came… I was just at first looking around – seeing all these “hungry” hearts. When most of the people were done, I decided to go in front and looked for my spiritual mom, Ate Grace. But when I reached infront, Ate Grace was praying for someone. Kuya Ariel saw me and called me. When Kuya Ariel prayed for me, I felt something “hot” coming into my body then from my back, Ate Janet whispered to me “You have a new assignment – something that will define your identity”. I said to GOD, “Lord, I don’t want a new assignment… I just want transformation to family…” Naki-argue pa ako kay Lord, haha! Pero bumawi naman ako at sabi ko, “But if this is your way for my family’s restoration then so be it. If this is your will then I will obey.” I stayed on the ground crying to GOD at sabi ko, di ako tatayo until Ate Grace will pray for me. Not long enough, Ate Grace approached me and prayed for me…

Anniversary kinabukasan… and sobra pa rin heart ko to listen and just receive… Daddy Leif released the “Spirit of Moravian”. (You can find the story of the Moravian call at the end of my story). While Daddy Leif was still speaking, grabe, the spirit was talking to me and my tears were just flowing. During the altar call, grabe, everyone was undone! More nations for 2009! All we have to do is to receive…

The celebration continued with a fiesta! Sarap ng food! And kasiyahan to the max! we had a very grand program – epic performances of UPLB Filipina and special number of Binan wives (tama po ba?), Jova, Yuri and more. Daddy Leif, Kuya Paul and the American team were asked to dance “tinikling”.

Sabi ko nga, susulitin namin ang bawat sandali, hehe. After the anniversary, LB Professionals had a dinner together. We talked about… (hush, secret) Haha! Sarap lang ulit makipagkulitan at kwentuhan. It was a very meaningful and fun dinner. No dull moments ba!

The following day, Ate Rose and I had a date with our spiritual mother. It was again time to eat and receive and of course, just enjoy the fellowship. Super short ng oras but still, worthwhile…

Sa gabi ng December 8, we had a “makulit” na dinner with Calamba Professionals and few more LB Professionals. Ahhmm… Medyo late nga lang Calamba pero bumawi naman sa kwentuhan. Aba syempre, di paawat si Kuya Itoh! Sobrang pinaghandaan daw an gaming pagkikita, hehe. It was great and kulit lang ng mga tao, hehe.



FAMILY TIME

On December 9, I arrived in Tuegarao (domestic flight from Manila) – province ng asawa ng ate ko. I slept most of the day sa first day! Haha! I spent time as well with my nephew (my ate’s son). It was my first time to meet him. My mama, nanay (lola), hipag (ate Dhang – my kuya’s wife) and Kate arrived on December 10. Quite sad that my dad, kuya and nephew Gelo didn’t make it for some reasons.


Divine appointment…

Part of our itinerary is to go to Piat Church. I honestly did not want to go because I thought like I have nothing to do but not to play as “KJ”, I kept silent. My sister included that on our plan not to go to that church but to just have a look and take some pictures since it’s one of the historical places. The time our van arrived the place, many vendors (all these ‘religious’ stuff) surrounded us but my mom said in Ilocano, “Sorry, di po Katoliko ang mga anak ko kaya di sila naniniwala dyan.” To avoid some debates, I decided to just stay inside the van. Since my nanay (lola) is a devoted catholic, she went inside the church with my mom. My sister and all the rest went out to take some pictures (ate ko pa, obsessed sa pictures, haha!). After few minutes, they came back and again all these vendors flocked around us. Sobrang kulit trying to sell their items but my sister simply said (with a smile), “Sorry po manang, di po kami bumibili nyan.” Trying to help, my mama also said, “Born Again po kasi sila. Wala daw po yan sa Bible.” One lady from the crowd, for some unknown reasons, started to shout and she was so angry and blurted out, “I was also a Born Again before…” right, she was speaking or trying to speak in English, haha! When the lady said something about being a “born again”, my sister was prompted to speak up. Ate Dada (my sister) doesn’t want that lady to mislead all the people around about being a Born Again CHRISTIAN. So, Ate Dada spoke in a very calm voice to the lady asking what does she really meant of being a born again. But that lady kept on shouting and was so angry. So Ate Dada started to explain what does it really mean of being a born again. She also said, “Baka naman po naka-attend lang kayo ng isang fellowship e sinasabi nyo na pong Born Again kayo dati? Kailangan po yun na nasa puso. Napakaimportante po na maintindihan nyo ng tama…” But the lady all the more didn’t want to listen so my sister said, “Dessa, I need a back-up. This is maybe the reason why you are here now. This is your calling”. I was just at first observing and praying but when my ate called me, I went out the van holding my ipod (since I have a Bible application on my ipod). I started saying, “Handa po ba kayong makinig sa kwento ko?” I read John 3, of course, in English but my sister said to speak in Ilocano. Oh no! I opted instead to explain the verses in Tagalog (was trying so hard…). From John 3, I jumped to Genesis explaining where it all started… I concluded and said, “kung babasahin po natin ng Bibliya, wala po tayong makikitang tunkgol sa isang relihiyon bilang kaligtasan natin. Dumating po si Hesus para magkaroon tayo ng relationship sa KANYA…” (phew, hirap pala magpurong Tagalog, haha! Sana lang tama translation ko, hehe). Then the ladies around me was saying, “Tama sya… Tama sya…” and I saw one lady with teary eyes as she listened… Everyone nod at me except the lady. She again started to say unpleasant words but I just smiled. Sumabat ulit si mama, “Manang, kung Born Again ka dapat di ka ganyan. Dapat di ka nakikipag-away. Pinapaliwanag lang ng mga anak ko kung ano nasa Bibliya. Andami-daming nagsisimba dyan pero sila pa ang mga pasaway. Yun ang sinasabi ng mga anak ko, “relationship” at di “religion”. Ako nga e naniniwala na ata!” Whoa! Praise GOD! Then my mom started to ask a lot of questions in the van…

Side comment: my mom heard one of the ladies was saying, “Bible ba yun?” Take note, I was reading the Bible thru my ipod. haha.



CALLAO Cave…

Then, we went straight to Callao Cave. Wow. Maraming lights sa loob kasi marami talagang nagpupuntahan. I really had a great time. Mas-exciting sana if napasok lahat ng caves kaso, we were with nanay. Hehe. Tama nga si Ate Jane, masmahirap ipasyal ang matatanda, haha! Di tuloy namin narating yung pond sa loob ng cave but nevertheless, masaya pa rin.


The BEACH...

That night we went to my bayaw’s rest house. From the time I arrived Tuegegarao, I always hear about the “bloody game” of politics on that place. By the way, my sister is a vice mayor’s wife. From the different corners, I heard them tell the stories about the recent killing that just happened and so on… as in… bloody game! Revenge is their game. So dapat laging may body guard. Parang pelikula! Hehe. My sister set an appointment with the pastor of that town with his wife. So the next morning, we just had a chit-chat. My mama said that she wants to join the conversation. During the conversation, my mom started to cry and poured out… So the pastor prayed for mom. After that, I just shared about “identity” and I said to the pastor that what their church need is the “FIRE from HEAVEN”! I also said that we are called from glory to glory… Before they step out, I was just lead to pray for them. So I prayed for them… I prayed for the FIRE… and I sensed so much in spirit that they had caught the FIRE! They cried and so my sister. While praying, I heard from the back that someone was sobbing. After the prayer, I looked who was at my back, it was my mama. She was also crying… The pastor asked me to speak to their church but since, we don’t have enough time, I just said that I will come back and will have an “Encounter God Retreat”! They were so excited and looking forward to that…. At the van going home, my mom said, “Ipag-pray mo din kuya mo ng FIRE!” WHOA! Haha! My mom caught the message…

Side comment: At night, my mom was so afraid because of all these stories. Then pagsapit ng madaling araw,nagkaroon bigla ng fluctuation sa electricity. On and off ang ilaw at aircon, so nagising kami. Tapos naririnig ko talaga ang lakas ng kalabog ng heart ng mom ko, hehe and she said “Dada, madaling araw ata sila pumapatay!” haha. I just prayed that night and said to my mom that nothing will happen…

THE NEW ASSIGNMENT

As we go back, I was just looking back of what had just happened. God impressed to me that this is the new assignment that Ate Janet was saying… Ever since, I never wanted to get involved with politics but… probably because I don’t want too much complications, hehe. But no matter what I do now, I can’t escape the reality that my sister is a vice mayor’s wife… She is surrounded with all these high profile politics of their town – a place that needs so much righteous leaders, a place where local churches needs revival. That’s also not mentioning that my brother is the number one kagawad of their barangay and the people were asking him to run as kapitan on the next election… Well, di po ako nangangampanya, haha! My part is just probably to help indirectly…


That’s it. I have not exhausted all my stories yet but to end this, of course, nakakain po ako ng mga foods na inasam-asam ko, haha!

PHOTO GALLERY

....with my cellmates during the Anniversary

Dinner with LB Professionals

chit-chat at Ahl's Cake

Date with our Mom Grace

Viewing the shots after our walk around UPLB

Journey to Callao Cave, Tuegagaro

(From left: That's me, Lola, Kate (anak ni Kuya), Mama, Ate ko, Dhang (Hipag/asawa ni Kuya/mommy ni Kate)

Callao Cave: View from the inside

Picture pa rin (Ate Ko with her son JL, and our pamangkin Kate)

And of course, the beach...

____

THE TALE OF TWO MORAVIAN MISSIONARIES

Two young Moravians heard of an island in the West Indies where an atheist British owner had 2000 to 3000 slaves. And the owner had said, "No preacher, no clergyman, will ever stay on this island. If he¢s shipwrecked we¢ll keep him in a separate house until he has to leave; but he¢s never going to talk to any of us about God. I¢m through with all that nonsense." Three thousand salves from the jungles of Africa brought to an island in the Atlantic and there to live and die without hearing of Christ.

Two young Moravians heard about it. They sold themselves to the British planter and used the money they received from their sale, for he paid no more than he would for any slave, to pay their passage out to his island for he wouldn¢t even transport them. As the ship left it¢s pier in the river at Hamburg and was going out into the North Sea, carried with the tide, the Moravians had come from Herrenhut to see these two lads off, in their early twenties. Never to return again, for this wasn¢t a four year term; they sold themselves into life-time slavery. Simply that as slaves, they could be a s Christians where these others were. The families were there weeping, for they knew they would never see them again. And they wondered why they were going and questioned the wisdom of it. As the gap widened and the housings had been cast off and were being curled up there on the pier, and the young boys saw the widening gap, one lad with his arm liked through the arm of his fellow, raised his hand and shouted across the gap the last words that were heard from them, they were these: "MAY THE LAMB THAT WAS SLAIN, RECEIVE THE REWARD OF HIS SUFFERING!" This became the call of Moravian missions. And this is the only reason for being, That the Lamb that was slain, may receive the reward of His suffering
Paris Reidhead
Ten Shekels and a Shirt

Peak years...

If we're thinking and acting “less”, unknowingly or consciously, than our real identity or whoever we are now, then there must be something wrong. These words suddenly dawned on me and made me paused for awhile.

For few weeks now, the words of Ptr. Yang Tuck Yoong of Cornerstone Church were echoing in my head. “Don't retire but refire! There's no glory at the beginning, it's found when the race is finished. We don't judge success at half the race... The years are ahead us and the peak is yet to come.”

Many among us think that our journey is like climbing a mountain. After we've reached the peak, we start to step down and end the journey below... And sadly, this mind setting has muddled our anticipation. We tend to expect less when we think we've already reached our peak. So, sometimes we have the propensity to look back and wish if we could just return to those “glorious” days...

But contrary to what many think, Ptr.Yoong said that, “We should end at the peak of our mountain!” Because, we know it fully that we are called to run the race from glory to glory. So, wherever our feet are standing now, that should be our “peak” otherwise, if we think less than that, we will act less… and expect less.

If we are now thinking or acting less than what we have already gained/established/achieved or been thru, then this is a call to pause for awhile and realign. It needs our conscious effort every time we take one step or we might trip-off from where we are standing and worse, fall off.

But, if we really believe in our hearts that we are just standing at exactly where God has called us to be, then we are only left with one option and that is, to move up because we know and we know that there must be greater things still awaiting for us, more glorious than the latter.

So, if we can still hear our heart is beating then, we have not reached the top yet. We haven’t tasted our finest day yet. Let’s keep our eyes focus on the AUTHOR and FINISHER of our faith because our optimum is still awaiting us.

Addedum (take 3)

**This was based from Ate Mary's blog which she just also got it from her friend, but I replaced it with my own inputs .**

The ‘deep’ Odessa

I AM … God’s beloved.

I WANT… to please HIM as much as I can…

I HAVE …not seen yet all HIS plans for me… and the best is yet to come…

I KEEP… on praising HIM whenever I’m down…

I WISH I COULD… always know HIS answer... but I still believe in HIS perfect timing...

I HATE… it everytime I displeased HIM (good thing, His grace is sufficient enough!)

I FEAR… finding myself at the wrong side…

I HEAR… HIM saying, “I have crowned you with My favor and love…”

I DON'T THINK… I will ever forget how HE changed my wrecked life!

I REGRET… the time when I made the biggest mistake in my life.

I LOVE… the feeling that GOD loves me so much!

I AM NOT…a quitter!

I DANCE… everytime I praise HIM!

I SING… worship songs especially when I’m down…

I NEVER … dare to question HIS goodness/faithfulness.

I RARELY … stay at the background… I usually prefer to get involved…

I CRY WHEN I WATCH … people who are all-out for GOD.

I AM NOT ALWAYS … “workaholic” like people think…

I HATE THAT … sometimes, you just have to wait… and wait… and wait…

I'M CONFUSED ABOUT … sigh…

I NEED … to focus on HIM to hear the answers to my questions…

I SHOULD …always trust HIM especially for the times when all you can get is… “silence”…


The ‘other side’ of Odessa

I AM … a nature-lover! (I love to see all these peaceful beaches, happy green trees, excited waterfalls… I love listening to the splash of the sea… I’m awed at HIS majestic creation!)

I WANT… to travel the whole world! (and to have a ‘romantic date’ in Paris one day…)

I HAVE … always wanted to have my own house, yacht, rest house… and all these get-away stuffs!

I KEEP … on guarding my heart, haha!

I WISH I COULD … easily jump from places to places whenever I want (especially when I’m bored or wanting to escape? haha!)

I HATE … the feeling when I’m confused…

I FEAR … going to high places and looking down below… (but if you succeed convincing me, I’m certain that my eyes will be closed 98% of the time! Haha!)

I HEAR … that someone is calling my heart! Haha! (Really??? Sino??? Haha! Joke)

I DON'T THINK … I will fall for someone who doesn’t believe in marriage! (lalo na that I’m dreaming of a grand wedding!)

I REGRET … that I have not been to “Puerto Galera” or “Boracay” before I came here in Singapore (when I have already been to "Bintan Indonesia" and “Gold Coast Australia”)

I LOVE … surprises! (and I believe that the way to a woman’s heart is an unexpected gift at unexpected time (from “Finding Forrester”)

I AM NOT … a ‘kikay’ person but choosy… (kaya sometimes, hirap i-please, hehe)

I DANCE …every time I feel like it (especially when I just want to release, kahit nasa labas ng house, hehe…)

I SING … to release…

I NEVER … had a boyfriend! (haha! That’s just the first thing that came to my mind – just being honest. But hey, that’s by choice!)

I RARELY … eat sweets… I always prefer “spicy” over “sweets”

I CRY WHEN I WATCH … drama movies!

I AM NOT ALWAYS … jokey…

I HATE THAT … my sister thinks I’m too “healthy”? (haha)

I'M CONFUSED ABOUT …seriously going to the gym or not… (I’m a busy person you know, charing!)

I NEED ... to have my regular exercise! Or play table tennis on a regular basis or swim…

I SHOULD … lose weight, my sister said because she prefers my body-built when I was in high school (hehe)

The Epitome of Preparing

Still remember the Beijing Olympics 2008? The world was so amazed especially during the Opening Ceremony- it was indeed grand! But many among the million watchers across the countries were really not aware all the things behind these colourful fireworks, remarkable dances or overall epic performance. What happened before the Olympics? How much effort was put in by the Chinese government for this global event? Do all the people know that many factories in China were shutdown to give way for this event? Were all the people aware that the performers were trained for almost a year?

Are you not delighted that in any one-day event, people will spend many days in preparing (that's excluding the crammers of course)? The Olympics Committee prepared for many months for the 2-week-event. Singapore prepared for few months for the 3-day F1 Race. We can still add to the list. Wedding? The couple and families will prepare for months time for the one- day celebration. Why? Because if we miss it, we lose it…

Let me also take the risk of sounding negative because it's also worth noting and reminding everyone that our lives are not all about "hurray's", which means that we also have to prepare for the opposite scenarios that may blow anytime. Taking the global crisis now for example, far from expected (and wanted of course), many economies now across the globe have shattered, including the US.

We can really never tell what's next but that's the epitome of preparing- something that most of us already know but sadly, many are still subscribers of "bahala na" habit, facing all these events at their own peril. Let me "spiritualized" that, many believers are so comfortable knowing that God will be their rescue- a manna falling from heaven. They are forgetting that God will pour out the rain to the field that is ready. Of course, I'm not underestimating His grace but if "preparing" is not part of the plan then He should have already purged out the word "prepare" in the Bible a long time ago.

What are the prayers you are praying for? What are the BIG dreams you are dreaming about? Yes, we can never tell what tomorrow will be but without us preparing, most likely we know where we will end...

Let me conclude with this parable that was stressed in the movie, Facing the Giants:

There are two farmers who needed rain. One prayed. The other one, aside from praying, he went out and prepared his fields in anticipation of the rain. Which of the 2 fields that God will send the rain? Which of the 2 farmers you think that GOD will answer? Now, which one are you?

Eternal Crowns

When God promised us something, we know that He will surely accomplish it. But, He never hands us over the blueprint of the exact plan He has on mind. We know that we will reach the Promised Land when He said so but most of the times, we are clueless on what are the exact atrociously-painful situations that we have to go through. We know the beginning and the end but we don't know the details 'in between'. Right, we anticipate trials but we can never really make a very precise decision unless we are at that situation (Does “cross the bridge when you get there” advice ring a bell?).

When you receive a word from GOD, I’m pretty sure you will be thrilled and energized. It's in the beginning where you will hear all the "Hallelujah" and "Praise the Lord". The excitement is so high. The faith is so BIG. How much more during the triumphant days (end)? All the praises you can utter!

But what about during the “in between”? It's during these times that you can hear all the possible venomous doubts that the enemy can whisper. Can I really make it? Did I really hear God when He said go? What if I’m wrong? What if I should have done the other way instead? All these mind boggling "what if(s)" happen here. The “in between” is the toughest and most crucial part because breakdown may happen here but your choices and actions during these times will determine if you will make it to your promised land - something that the Israelites did not understand.

The Israelites knew that they were on their journey to their promised land but they were not informed (not even Moses) that they had to wait for 40 long years. Probably all types of whining and complaining were uttered when they can’t seem to see what have been promised to them. Pile up every concern that they had plus factor-in the agony of waiting – is a situation that probably most of us can relate with. The ending of the story may be the same or could also be different but that’s up to the choices that we will make. Our actions will dictate the ending of our story. Wonder why some Israelites didn’t reach their promised land? I bet you know the answer!

When I heard God audibly say (just few months old as a believer), “I have appointed you to go and produce fruit that will last, so that whatever you ask the Father in My name, He will give it to you. (John 15:16)", my heart rejoiced and I was so empowered! But, He didn't give me a complete list of all the heart-breaking experiences that I have to run through. He didn't say that I will struggle for my tuition fees nor mentioned that for many days I will get starved. He did not tell me about my dad… or mom will be… or kuya will face these… or ate will have... or our bunso is… and all other bloody stuffs… But most importantly (with a deep sigh), God “purposively failed” to warn me that most of these excruciating things will happen at the same time...

No doubt, the “in between-process” is the most vital stage because it’s in here where we are molded and transformed into His likeness. And it is here where we can get our crowns.

“but we do it to get a crown that will last forever…” 1 Cor 9:25

Crown symbolizes kingship but you can only be a king if you are conquering a territory. What territories or areas of your life that you want to conquer? And what are the crowns that you now have or still want to acquire? Crown of generosity? Crown of perseverance? Crown of loving-kindness? You name them and grab hold of them for the enemy wants to take them away from you.

“I am coming soon! Hold on to what you have so that no one takes your crown.” Revelation 3:11 (emphasis added)

I have not come to the most essential part yet. Flip your Bible to Revelation 4:9-11

“Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne, and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne…” (emphasis added)

Let me put a stress on “They lay their crowns before the throne…” Granted, we will be saved since we have accepted CHRIST as our Lord and Saviour but if that’s God only intention then He should have omitted the “in-between-process” and has already taken us up with HIM right after we have accepted CHRIST. If that’s the case then all that we can say when we meet HIM is, “Thank You Lord for saving me.” But that’s not it. All these battles that we’re fighting for are for HIM. If we’re surpassing all these just for our own satisfaction then I guess, we will not really have that drive to finish the race but if we’re pressing on because of our love for HIM, then all these are crowns are indeed worth fighting for. How encouraging to know that when the appointed day will come, we will not only thank and praise HIM for saving us, but also offer HIM all the crowns that we steadfastly hold on.

“I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and makes war. His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself” Revelation 9:11-12

As a final note, I would lie if I will say that I never questioned His promises because I honestly did.... In fact, more than once especially on family matters. There are also times that I tend to go back to my comfort zone instead but I know that in every place that I will enter in, there is always a corresponding place that I have to go out from or leave behind.

With all these words, I’m only left with this question, how many crowns will I be offering to Jesus on that appointed day?

Secrets of Giving in Receiving

Many times we feel "less favoured" when we have stayed so much at the side of receiving. For many times we have probably been wanting to flip the coin and experience the other side of it--- the "giving" side. Or, we might have been wondering what's with those people who can just give much? Are they "more favoured"? It may sound ironic, but actually in receiving, you will learn how to give, with the right heart of course. Where is this principle coming from?

We, Ate rose and I, were counselling one dear friend a month back. She saw herself as a "burden" because she thought that she has already received much and wanting to payback but unable to. We've cleared the air by telling her some of our well-known saga. We said that the ultimate reason why we can bless is actually because we have been so much blessed. AND, I believe if we ask those people who are generously giving now, many will say "I'm giving because I have received much or I've been there".

Imagine a vessel being poured with water: it will for sure overflow as you pour more or looking at the other end, as the vessel continue to receive; it has no other option but to let the water spill. The tangible things that we have received may diminish but the very act of kindness or generosity is being deposited in our hearts - our "vessels". Citing my own experience as an example, I stayed on the “receiving side” for 3 years or 75% of my college years (not mentioning my childhood days of course). Admittedly, I was discouraged many times but everytime I see His goodness shown by His people, I can't help but be thankful. I know how a very simple act of generosity can fade away any tears because I know the feeling...

So the next time we experience drought, let's impede from thinking less about ourselves because unknowingly (and sadly), these unsatisfying thoughts are actually putting a curb on us in crossing the other line. It's just time for our vessels to be filled and sooner or later, our appointed season will come where we can also just gladly tilt our vessels for our water to leak. Meanwhile, let's learn to be thankful with what we have now; this is always a good start. As Joyce Meyer well said, "A thankful person will be blessed even more with things to thank for." Or you can also refer to our MANUAL and open to Psalm 50:23 where it says, “Whoever offers the sacrifice of thanksgiving glorifies me, and prepares his way so that I will show salvation to him.” God is not so concerned if we come empty handed but He is more concerned if these "empty hands" will be lifted up to offer thanksgiving. This is the secret of King David in opening the doors of blessings.

Another significant thing to add is that we should not start from what we don't have but rather start from what we already have. Like any investors, they don't start from their weaknesses but from every little opportunity they have to supersede any threats. On the same manner, we may now only have "2 fish and 5 loaves" or worse, an empty lunch box, but we have our time that we can wisely invest, skills/gifts as our assets, His promises that will surely come with positive returns... and the list goes on. These readily available resources will take over any surging challenges that we may have. Amazingly, we'll just be surprise that our initial investment can sooner feed five thousand.

Secrets of HIS Riches

As most of the working people in Singapore rush to the office to dig their treasures, I reckon on the secrets of digging HIS riches.

We are so much aware that there will be a lot of tests in our CHRISTian journey. They say, one of the toughest tests of our maturity is “relationship/matters of the heart”. I also know a test that I believe should be applied with the same weight as the latter one and that is, faithfully giving our tithes and offering.

I have read and heard a lot of preachings on giving and most of them say that giving our tithes/offering is a command, which is indeed true.

“Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and test Me now in this,” says the LORD of hosts, "if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows.” Malachi 3:10

But I will not put my stress on the “command” thing because after all, it always ends at the state of our heart.

Few of the billion dollars worth of questions that we have are, “What if we have a lot of bills on our plate that are choking us? Is it valid not to give our tithes/offering? Will HIS grace be sufficient enough to understand?” Arguments noted. I will surely not argue on GOD’s grace as we all know that HE is a father who understands well. However, I will not also dare to question GOD’s goodness. Here is the point that I’m driving at: Our Father knew it very well that Isaac was the only son of Abraham when HE asked Abraham to offer Isaac. So Abraham did as he was told to do. He didn’t argue. For what purpose? -- to test Abraham’s love/trust to his GOD.

"Do not lay your hand on the lad, or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me” Genesis 22:12

And we know the story, GOD provided a ram needed for the offering and the place was called, “Jehovah Jireh” or “The-Lord-Will-Provide”.

I believe the basic premise of why we give is because “God is good”. No matter how much trillions worth we give, be it in cash, kind or labor, we can never outgive HIM because simply, HE is good. Every time we flip the pages of our Bible, we always see HIS goodness. Blessing HIS children is HIS cup of tea!

“Not one of the good promises which the LORD had made to the house of Israel failed; all came to pass.” Joshua 21:45

Planting a single seed (depends on the kind) will most likely produce hundreds/thousands seeds of its kind– I’m not an agriculturist so you can debate with me on that but that’s the principle lies behind in giving. You give one tenth from what you have; HE will give it back hundred folds. I leave the calculation to you.

These things that I’ve written are not something I just picked somewhere in the air but something that I’ve hardly learned. Well, this is maybe one of the things that many of us will learn the hard way. From the point where I started up to now, one thing I have proven is that even if we sum up all our so called BIG concerns, it would still be just a piece of cake to our BIG DAD!

We have always been declaring GOD’s goodness in our lives but are we really living with that very principle? A thought to ponder.

Sweetly Broken (title from Jeremy Riddle's song)

Questions are popping up on my mind now that I just feel like releasing them. I guess you will agree with me when I say that some answers to our questions are inevitable but not convincing or encouraging at all – they are like salt in your wounds. But, well, salt is used for purifying, are we not suppose to rejoice then? Arghh…

I must say, my previous weeks have been very tough (and still getting tougher…) that I just want to disappear for awhile… I’ve asked a lot of things lately but I’ve received the otherwise.

I long to hide and rest but I’m being pushed to come out and run…
I yearn for something but I’m asked to wait.
I’m begging for a helping hand but they even broke my leg.
I wish for a lighter load but I was given more challenges.
I want to shout and yet GOD is asking me to stay calm and quiet.

So, anyone who can give me a very gratifying answer? I bet most of us would say, that includes me (and because there’s no other way), “Trust and rest in HIS arms.” BUT, trusting and resting are not as easy as we thought. It requires a willful mind, heart and soul to totally lay down everything and remove any shadow of doubts. I’ve heard a lot of well known writers/pastors/missionaries who took time (some years) for them to totally grasp how to really rest in the midst of the storm. I believe it’s because the limited mind can’t easily chew something like that. Touch their family and surely, many would be shaken. Throw some more personal/emotional/work concerns and definitely, some would draw back.

My question still remains, are we not supposed to rejoice then? I believe no one can really lay down any crystal clear answers but as most of us know that still, GOD has His own ways of getting our attention. He wants us to get out from our “physical state” and step into HIS “spiritual realm”. Right, our understanding is very limited that’s why He’s asking us to let go of that “limited understanding” and embrace HIS “eternal grace”. I admit rejoicing is very hard during the hard-hitting trials but at the end of it, I’m certain that we will surely rejoice as long as we stay in HIS guidance – that, I’m very certain...

Right Choice

“Breakthrough is something that we can not achieve on our own. It requires divine intervention.”- B. Yoder

Breakthrough came to Israel when they were set free from captivity. The good news is we already have this freedom! We have been set free from anything that blocks our way to our GOD so breakthrough is not something that is so hard to reach. Sometimes, we tried so hard to push ourselves beyond our limits believing that in this way, our works will not come null and void. Of course, faith is dead without action but there are a lot of times, we are missing the most essential thing. And we know, but sometimes tend to forget (which is very tragic), that actually the most essential things are the basic things.

These days I’ve been asking GOD… and He just simply gave me these words, “You just have to know what to choose.” There are a lot of times that I seek for deep things to GOD but sometimes, He will just say (and I can imagine GOD saying with a sigh and a sweet smile on HIS face) simple words. It’s like, “Is that it? I mean, is that all?” You know what? God’s WORDs are impeccable!

“I just have to know what to choose…” Isn’t it amazing that GOD has chosen to leave us the freedom of choice when He knows it very well that man, most of the times, doesn’t know what exactly to choose? Sometimes, we are so clueless and so we are driven by the things that we think can satisfy us. As Erwin McManus explicitly said, “Sometimes, people give meaningful to the things which are meaningless and people give meaningless to the things that are meaningful.”

The breakthrough that I am waiting… The fruits that I am are asking… The heart’s desire that I am seeking… In every question and in every situation… Yes, the answer is spelled in simple words, “I just have to know what to choose”. I will declare these choices… I choose to listen to the Voice of the One that I love. I choose to obey… I choose to worship and lavish HIS love. I choose to seek HIM… I choose to allow HIM to move… Not me, yes, not me but HIM alone.

Everything that we need has been given to us. All the resources to move in our offices even the power and anointing to break forth. We just have to know the right choices and to boldly exercise them…

Song of songs 3:1-4
By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth; I sought him, but I found him not. 'I will rise now, and go about the city, in the streets and in the broad ways, I will seek him whom my soul loveth.' I sought him, but I found him not. The watchmen that go about the city found me: 'Saw ye him whom my soul loveth?' Scarce had I passed from them, when I found him whom my soul loveth: I held him, and would not let him go, until I had brought him into my mother's house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me.

Let’s sought after HIM and hold HIM… That’s the right choice.